The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The cops high fived after they tackled you
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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