honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
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i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
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You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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