It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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