I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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