Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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