My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
