I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
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I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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