i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
