i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
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i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
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When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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