Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
