You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
