i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
