Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
