1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
God, I missed his penis.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
