Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
