I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
