Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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