think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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