If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize