The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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