hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
