I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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