I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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