I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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