real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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