Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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