im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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