We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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