ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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