i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
only if we run a train.
done.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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