Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
