i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
