The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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