Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
