I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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