I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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