I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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