did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
