THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
