i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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