Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
