we're blogging at a bar
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
