hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
