I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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