Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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