it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
