he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I deserve this hangover.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
