we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
