Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
