I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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