one two three fourrrrnication!
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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