As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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