The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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