I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
