idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I died a long time ago.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
