Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she looked like the before picture.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
