She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
