**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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