my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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