I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
